The emotions that hit you like a steam train
No one can prepare you for a cancer diagnosis. Utter shock and fear are the first things that come to you when you hear the words, followed by disbelief and such a deep sadness. A sadness that feels so dark and so scary you will never come out of it. The first few days are the worst. You cannot see beyond the next hour and the emotions that hit you like a steam train. It’s the fear that got me - I felt terrified all the time. For the first week after the diagnosis, every morning is like being told for the first time again as the realisation hits you - it takes some weeks before that stops.
It’s exhausting and all-consuming, but as the weeks go by it does get easier. That’s when the fighting spirit starts to bubble up and our desire to survive, like a primal instinct, takes over. Then you get angry that this is happening to you- an emotion that is better than fear and sadness. It gives you the fight that you need to beat this horrible disease.
Positivity is the key
To anyone diagnosed: whatever you do, don’t give up hope! Avoid looking up your diagnosis online or listen to people’s horror stories. This is a personal journey and positivity is the key -focus on living. Make plans, set goals and sink your teeth into something other than cancer - don’t let it consume you. Find something bigger to focus on to pull you through.
My daughter is my motivation to support Breast Cancer Now as I don’t want her to go through this. My children have only seen the awful side of cancer. They never met their grandad and then saw me fight for my life. I wanted them to see the good side- the smiles, the fundraising and the lovely people that are trying to stop breast cancer in it tracks.
Wear pink with me on 18 October to help make this happen and to remind women to check their breasts. Make it big, the bigger the better! The more research that happens, the closer we can get to finding a cure or a prevention - that would be amazing.